My Nana

I was so young when she died.....but I remember the exact moment I found out. It was late at night and my mom was at the grocery store, my dad at work. The phone rang....it was Lane calling to get a hold of my dad. Because Nana was in the hospital. I told Lane I would call my dad as soon as possible, and he told me it was an emergency and to get him there quickly. I reached for my mom's, older than me, address book to look up dad's work number. I was shaking like a leaf, I was so nervous to call my dad's work because I never had before. I'm not even sure how the conversation went, it was all a blur. Mom comes walking through the door with some groceries and asked if Vern could help her. That's when I chimed in..."Dad's on his way home, Uncle Lane called and said Nana is in the hospital and it's an emergency. I think my mom just about lost the groceries at this point. She instantly started packing us kids for an overnighter.
It seemed like it was only five minutes later and dad was walking through the door. He didn't say much. He was very serious. Us kids didn't ask any questions, we loaded up in the car and were at Lane and Cathy's house in a matter of minutes. Kriste opened the door and off were mom and dad to the hospital.
That night all of us cousins played. We were singing Karaoke to Ace of Base and playing video games. It was alot of fun really. I think we stayed up until three in the morning. Britt, Eric, Vicky, and myself all fell asleep on the floor in the basement. I'm not sure where Karl and Vern ended up, probably in the boy's room. All of a sudden I was awakened by a tap on my shoulder, it was Vicky. She said, "Becky, Nana died last night." We just sat there silent for a few moments.
Of course it really hadn't set in. We just kinda kept playing as if nothing really happened. Then Mom and Dad walk through the door. I walked up to my parents and lost it. I just remember holding my Dad's waist and bawling. I don't think I could stop for a while. That's, I think, when it hit everyone else.
I missed about two weeks of school because I couldn't control my emotions. I had spent so much of my young childhood looking up to this woman, and she was dead. I thought she was so neat, I tried to be just like her. I would watch how she ate, how she cleaned, and how she laughed. I remember her saying "Oh Hell" and "Oh Hal".....it was cute. How every time she would laugh, she's throw her had back and and slap her knee. I still remember the smell of the lotion she put on every time she would walk out of the bathroom.
I remember the warm feeling that came over me at her funeral. It felt like a warm hug in the middle of a cold, windy, wet, winter day. It felt like a hug only Nana could give. I still have a hard time listening to "How Great Thou Art". I tear up most anytime I hear it. And when it's sang in church....forget it....I lose it.
And of course, as I'm writing this I'm a little teary. But I still feel really close to my Nana. I still dream about her. And I think of her often. As I do all of my grandparents. I suppose I'm sharing this because I feel like I need to. I feel like she deserves to be remembered. And I love her so much!